Common money mistakes that couples make.

You may have heard that money is one of the main reasons for fights and disagreements in relationships.

A Ramsey Solutions study shows that money fights and problems are the second leading cause of divorce (behind infidelity).

This can happen at all income and wealth levels. That is why I am passionate about taking a holistic approach to money - because it is just as important to build wealth as it is to feel good around money.

If money is causing stress or tension in your relationship, keep reading for 3 common money mistakes that couples make and tips on how to resolve them.

Mistake # 1:

Only talking about money when there is a problem or things go wrong. This is one of the most common things that I see when working with my clients. Couples get into the cycle of on talking about money when there is a problem, which usually then ends up in a fight because emotions are running high. It then ends up being a topic that they avoid since they don't want to get into another fight and the cycle repeats itself.

Solution: Set up a time to proactively talk about money. We personally have a monthly money date to talk about our money and agree on our budget for the next month. Make sure to also check out my free ‘Let’s talk money honey’ money date cards to help you have better money conversations with your partner here.

Mistake # 2:

Assuming your views are or should be the same. Our money habits and our views on money mostly comes from what we saw and heard growing up. So if you had a different upbringing from your significant other, most likely you are going to have different views around money and how you act around it. This can cause tension and arguments (I have personally been there myself!).

Solution: Talk about how you grew up and how you view money at your next money date. It won't mean that your views will change to be the same, but you will get a better understanding of where your partner is coming from and be in a better position to come to a compromise.

Mistake # 3:

Not having your own money to spend as you please. By having your own money I don't mean having completely separate finances, but an amount that you both agree on to have in your own account that you can spend on as you please. The most common issues I see from this mistake is:

1/ If one is a 'saver' and one is a 'spender' the 'spender' feels guilty or judged for spending by their partner.

2/If both are 'spenders' then one person will buy something and the other will feel like they should buy something as well to even it up and they end up spending more than they want to overall.

Solution: Have your own money to spend on whatever you like guilt free.

We personally get $500 each month to spend on whatever we like - no questions asked. I can buy a fancy dress without talking to my husband first and he can by geeky tech stuff without feeling guilty.

The key is to also agree together on what this money is spent on - for us things such as clothing, lunch, coffees and eating out (when we are not together) comes out of our own money but what you decide can be something completely different. The key is to make sure you are on the same page about this.

Need help with getting on the same page with your partner with money? Know that you are not alone!

Head over here to learn more about working 1:1 with me.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez