5 secrets to delightful money conversations.
1/ Set a time in advance
A 'monthly money date' to talk about finances proactively. It usually doesn't end well if you are only talking about money in the heat of the moment when something goes wrong. Also make sure that it is a time when both of you are going to be in the right head space (i.e. Friday night after work when you are both tired and want to relax after a week of working is probably not the best time so maybe Sunday morning when you are energized and relaxed might work better).
2/ Make it fun!
I encourage my clients to pair their money date with something they love - brunch at their favourite cafe, wine and cheese night, cocktails, fish & chips at the beach - you get the idea!
3/ Ditch the numbers (in the beginning).
I know money usually comes with numbers, however if you have had resistance from your partner in talking with you about money in the past, shoving a spreadsheet in their face is going to make them run or shut down. A better approach would be to talk about your shared dreams and goals and get an understanding of what is important to your partner so you can get them excited about working on a shared plan together.
4/ Learn about their money story. We all view money differently and it usually comes from what we saw and heard as a child. There may also be significant events that happened which shapes how your partner acts today. Whilst getting a better understanding on this won’t magically mean that you are going to agree on everything in the future, understanding their view will give you a better insight into why your partner acts the way they do and help you find some common ground.
5/ Celebrate each other - start your 'money date' with what you appreciate about each other as it relates to money. It could be as simple as ' I appreciate that you always make sure that our power and water bills are paid on time' or 'I appreciate you arranging someone to look after the kids so that we can have this time to talk about our money together'.
Make sure to download my free ‘Let’s talk money honey’ conversation kick starter cards here - choosing a couple of questions to answer together is a great way to set a positive tone for your money dates.
